But I digress…we find Lisbeth alive after the brutal reunion with her father. He is also alive, and both are found by Blomkvist. Lisbeth is under arrest, but not so much for the murders of Blomkvist’s friends, but for the attack on Zalachenko. Mind you, this guy is a DICK and totally had it coming. Salander never gets to finish her revenge though, as the government steps in and finishes the job she started. I know that Lisbeth wishes that she had done it, but when she hears the news a smile spreads across her face anyways. We get led deeper into the conspiracy, and that it is much larger than we realized. We get further into what Dr. Peter Teleborian’s story is (the man that was Lisbeth’s psychiatrist when she was locked up as a teen), and finally see vindication of her rape. When Lisbeth is finally put on trial (and she shows up with a mohawk and makeup and piercings in full bloom) she does not make it easy for the prosecutor, and once both he and Teleborian say that the rape was just one of her twisted fantasies, BAM, there’s the DVD that she recorded. We don’t even get to the true violence of the rape but we see the beginnings, exactly what she had said. And Prosecutor Eckstrom and Teleborian are left speechless and both looking white as ghosts.

Blomkvist has also been a busy boy: he gets his lawyer sister to represent Salander, writes a story about her and the injustices committed against her in Millenium, is trying to expose the government organization that screwed Salander over and working with another group to take down what is known as “The Section” (the group doing the screwing).

I am almost finished with the book and don’t want to ruin anything for anyone, so when this comes out on January 25, go out and rent it, or buy it. I’ll be buying it. I am also nearly finished with the book, and all three of these books are a great read. All in all, this trilogy is very satisfying.

I haven’t purchased all of their albums yet, but I randomly saw the video for “Tighten Up” (their breakout hit this year) on VH1 when they weren’t showing a rerun of Rock of Love or I Love Money or some other godawful excuse for television. Or it might have been MTV. I’m not sure…I mean neither show music videos anymore…but that’s a blog for another day. I was struck by the video (which is pretty great) and the song itself. It was like nothing I had heard before, or rather nothing that I had heard recently, but something that came from the 60s, I time when (I feel) that rock n roll was at its peak. That it was raw and real and a true force to be reckoned with.

The duo consists of Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney. The two sound like old pros, even having fans in rock legends like Robert Plant showing up at their shows and endorsements from Thom Yorke. To be honest, if you haven’t heard of the song “Tighten Up” this past year, then you either don’t listent to good music or you live under a rock. This type of rock is stripped down, back to when it was in a more pure state. It’s not moshpit rock (I dispise moshpits, btw), its headnodding, jump up and down explosive shit. I have a feeling that I might run out of adjectives soon, so maybe I should just end this with saying listen to The Black Keys. Their newest album, Brothers, is actually their 6th studio album. It’s great. Straight up GREAT. I also have Thickfreakness and Magic Potion, along with Dan’s solo record (which is also epic, if you dig The Black Keys, get that as well) Keep It Hid. If you long for some real rock n roll, The Black Keys have an answer for you.

Dreams, Dames and Death: Haunted Las Vegas and Nevada

In one way or another, we have all had something happen to us that we cannot understand. We’ve seen, heard or felt an unexplainable force that makes our hair stand on end, gives us goose bumps or sends a chill down our spine. We’ve all heard our fair share of ghost stories, but some have more truth to them than others. As a society we are taught that any paranormal phenomenon is malevolent, that is not always the case. There is a word for ghost in virtually every language in the world, and that says a lot. There has always been something that has defied explanation, and depending on your beliefs that could very well be a ghost.
Hardcore gamblers who come to Las Vegas every year have their own set of superstitions for luck. Some may see a place that has many deaths within its walls as unlucky, and its gambling and tourism market are the heart of the city. The corporations that run the casinos on the Strip like to keep a tight lid on any tragedies that may affect their reputation of being a fun-filled, relaxing and rewarding place to stay and play. As a result, the deaths that do occur on the Strip, or news of those deaths is hard to come by. If someone commits suicide in Henderson, it will be on the evening news. If it happens at the Bellagio, you’ll never know, unless it is something that cannot be ignored, like the bombing incident at the Luxor last year. Many do not want to think of the place that they escape to as a place where someone died, and they do not want to feel any bad mojo when taking $10,000 to the poker room. The facts cannot be ignored that people have died in these places. The odds of it not happening are too high with the amount of tourists that come through. Any bad press or negative attention to casinos in Las Vegas could mean the difference between being in the red or being in the black. Vegas is one of the most visited cities in the world, and the tragedies that occur over the years are simply part of the Sin City equation.

Gambling and Ghosts: On The Strip Hauntings
The Luxor
This hotel is one of the most recognizable to both locals and tourists. The Luxor’s grand pyramid shape, its giant sphyinx and light from the tip that can be seen from space make it one of Vegas’ biggest attractions. The deaths of several people, both accidental and not so accidental still haunt the hallways of this Egyptian themed hotel. Most often people have seen the apparition of a worker who was accidentally killed during its construction in 1993. Another is of a woman that committed suicide shortly after the hotel opened. She used the elevator to go to the top floor, and once there she suddenly jumped, landing near the buffet. While the buffet was moved, she is seen where it was, wearing red, and looking very sad. She is not the only jumper though. A man had apparently done the same as her, but he landed at the reservation desk. He has also been seen wandering around the casino floor.
Bally’s
Not too long ago, Bally’s was once the MGM Grand, and it was also the site of one of the most horrific hotel fires in the world. On November 21, 1980, the MGM was booked at 99% capacity, and that night faulty wiring sparked a fire in the wall of the ground floor deli. Employees tried to contain the fire, but it was fruitless as it quickly spread, destroying everything in its path. People on the ground level were killed by the toxic fumes that were released from the burning carpet, wallpaper and molding. Some people tried to stay calm by putting wet towels in their doorframes and waiting for help that would never come. Many were killed in their panic. Some tried to run out of their rooms and others jumped to their deaths from several stories above the ground. Hotel patrons were saved by climbing atop the dead bodies that firemen stacked to help them get to the rescue helicopters. Five thousand people were at the MGM. Six hundred and fifty people had to seek medical attention. Eighty seven were taken by the flames. Once the old MGM was bulldozed and Bally’s was built, many have reported hearing weeping and screaming, along with apparitions looking disoriented. As if they were still trying to find a way out of that terrifying fire, these ghosts haunt the scene of one of Las Vegas’ greatest tragedies.
The Flamingo
Built by mobster Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel, the lavish hotel was opened on December 26, 1946. Using money provided by his mob ties with “The Syndicate” he wanted to create something that would take Las Vegas to the next level of gambling and glamour. However, after borrowing roughly $6 million dollars and not seeing much of any return, the mob took matters into their own hands. Bugsy took a bullet through his right eye in Los Angeles and within minutes of his death his former Syndicate partners took over The Flamingo. Even though he was not killed in Las Vegas, many believe that he has stayed at the casino because it was so important to him. One place that people often see him and go looking for him is the rose garden wedding chapel. He has been seen in the Presidential Suite which he partially helped design in both the bathroom and near the pool table. He has also wandered down to the pool late at night, being seen in the wee hours when there is less of a crowd. If you go looking for him though, don’t call him “Bugsy”. Apparently he is not fond of the nickname, and no one needs an angry ghost of a gangster coming after them.
Las Vegas Hilton
Formerly the International Hotel, the Hilton was once the home to many of the biggest acts in entertainment, including Elvis. When he performed there, he broke records with every show, selling out each and every one. Shortly after his death in 1977, many people began seeing the fallen King, including Wayne Newton. Most of the time he is spotted backstage, and one person that saw him said that as he was going to tell him what an amazing impersonator he was, it suddenly went cold as if the heat had gone off, and the King was suddenly gone. Vegas loves Elvis, and this may be why he is sometimes seen here, remembering all of the adoring fans.
The Plaza
One of the first high-rise hotels built in the downtown area, this hotel is said to house the spirit of a man that committed suicide after a love affair ended with him on the losing end. It is unclear how he died. Some say that he went home and shot himself, and others say that he hung himself backstage at the hotel. This ghost is not vicious however, he likes ladies backstage and has been known to give a kiss to showgirls. He also likes to move objects and blow cold air on the backs of their necks.

Local Frights – Off The Strip Hauntings
Vegas is certainly most well known for the 4.5 mile stretch of gambling and entertainment, otherwise known as The Strip. So far in this feature we’ve focused on the paranormal activity that solely goes on down on The Strip. However, as all of us Vegas locals know, The Strip isn’t always where all the action is. The same rules apply to paranormal activity. For as many spirited stories down on The Strip, there are as many ghostly stories that originate in the surrounding Vegas areas.

Fox Ridge Park—Henderson
From Valle Verde when driving by during the day, Fox Ridge Park looks like any other park: rolling grassy lawns, a playground with 2 sets of swings, a public restroom. But at night the park becomes a whole other world. Well after midnight streetlights in the park that light the short stretch of sidewalks give the surrounding shadows an ominous darkness. The darkness makes the park and playground seem like a perfect place to have a run-in with a ghost…and a ghost is exactly what is said to appear here, specifically around the playground and swings. An apparition of a young boy is said to still play on the playground in the afterlife. The swings begin to swing on their own (without any wind to help) and paranormal investigators have claimed that they have captured the ghostly boy playing on the slide. The back-story that accompanies the ghost boy at Fox Ridge Park is as chilling as seeing the swings move on their own.
The story goes that many years ago a young boy was playing in the playground at the tail end of summer break. It was late in the day and the boy had to get home for dinner. As he began to walk from the park toward his home, a drunk driver lost control of his car and careened into the park, hitting and instantly killing the boy. Since then, stories of the ghost boy have persisted. Some say that the when the boy appears swinging in a swing, his face transforms into what looks demonic in nature. It is believed, however, that he is not a demon but that his face contorts to agony reflecting the last seconds of his life.

Mr. Showmanship Himself, Liberace
Carluccio’s Tivoli Gardens—On Tropicana Avenue
If the restaurant Carluccio’s isn’t familiar to you, Vegas locals will tell you that the building that Carluccio’s now occupies once belonged to Liberace. Under the entertainer’s ownership the restaurant was known as Tivoli Gardens. Liberace spent much of his free time at his restaurant between his performances. Liberace loved his restaurant and wanted it to be a showplace for his clientele who could come and enjoy fantastic food and a unique ambiance. Liberace himself was a hands-on owner by doing much of the decorating within the restaurant and helped plan many of the menus. Sometimes Liberace himself would treat a crowd of lucky restaurant patrons to an appearance when he would drop by for impromptu piano performances.
After Liberace’s death Carluccio’s took over the Tivoil Gardens. Not long after the new ownership took over, strange occurrences began to happen. Since his death, Liberace’s apparition has been seen numerous times. He usually appears in a sequin-accented tuxedo and smiles at anyone who sees him. His apparition usually appears near the piano, which stands in the main dining room. It seems even in death Liberace desires to entertain the guests of his former restaurant.

Liberace’s former residences
A house on Shirley Avenue and The Liberace White House—both former residences of the performer—are believed to be haunted by Liberace. The house on Shirley Avenue has a very unassuming exterior, however the inside décor of the house  is the extreme opposite. Liberace spared no expense when he decorated his home with priceless works of art and unique furnishings. The house itself is available to be booked for weddings and other special events. Many guests of these events have claimed to see Liberace’s apparition appear before them, always smiling and seemingly friendly. Again, Liberace has appeared near or around his piano, which is still housed there.
The Liberace White House is considerably smaller compared to his later house on Shirley Avenue. Where it lacks in size it makes up for in style. Again, Liberace himself designed and decorated the entire house, including having a specially designed swimming pool shaped like a piano installed on the grounds. Some who have visited this former residence claim that Liberace indeed still occupies the house. Sounds of the grand piano being played occasionally awakens occupants in the middle of the night. It seems that Liberace still desires to perform and entertain his guests in the afterlife.

Clark County Museum
Located on Boulder Highway in the outskirts of Henderson, the Clark County Museum is one of the best places to see the recreation of lifestyles of important periods in local history. At only $1.50 admission the museum is one of the best bargains in the Las Vegas area. Heritage Street features a collection of five historic houses and a print shop. These buildings were rescued from demolition and brought to the museum grounds where they were restored and refurnished to fit their specific time in the city’s history.
The first house that was relocated to Heritage Street was the Beckley House and it is one of the most haunted buildings featured there. Witnesses have claimed to see an elderly man and a ghostly little girl who appear near the staircase that leads to the attic. There is also a prankster ghost who occupies the Beckley House who disturbs the carefully made beds and enjoys sitting on them causing a depression in the bedspread.  There are also unexplained moans that emanate from the empty house. After investigating the strange noises, maintenance workers could not find the source.
The Giles/Barcus House is also one of the five homes that were relocated to Heritage Street. Its original location was in Goldfield, Nevada, and in 1955 it was moved to Las Vegas where it was used as an antique shop for many years. Visitors to the house have recounted an eerie feeling upon entering the former residence. Some have even claimed to see an elderly woman wearing a heavy velvet dress in the corner of the house. She does not acknowledge anyone when she is addressed however, and soon after someone sees her, she disappears.
The Goumand House was the former residence of Las Vegas businessman Prosper J. Goumand who was part owner of the Boulder Club, a casino on Fremont Street.  Psychics who have visited the house claim that it holds an overwhelming sadness. A thin young woman has been seen standing in the doorway of the house and every time someone goes to speak to her, she vanishes. People also claim to see a large ghostly black cat running around. Once someone tries to pick up the cat, they come up with an armful of air and nothing.
The Townsite House, originally built in 1942 was built as a temporary shelter for workers at the magnesium plant. Some sensitive people have claimed that the Townsite House is the house on Heritage Street with the most energy and not all of that energy is positive. Upon entering, a visitor claimed to feel an overwhelming sense of sadness connected in some way to the child’s room. The house is said to hold some unknown dark secrets.
While exploring these buildings on Heritage Street, paranormal investigators have had strange things happen to them and to their equipment. Batteries go dead within the houses only to have full power once brought outside, cameras snap photos on their own, significant temperature fluctuations also occur. All of these occurrences are common within haunted locations.

Nevada’s Dark Secrets
Out of the 50 states in the U.S., Nevada ranks #10 among the most haunted. According to some lists, Las Vegas ranks in the top 20 of most haunted cities. This isn’t the only place where ghostly things happen in the Silver State.
Virginia City
North of Carson City on the 341 is a place that was founded on greed. Virginia City is one of the oldest established communities in Nevada. It was formed in 1859 after the Comstock Lode silver strike, and became a boomtown for mining. After 1898 however after the Lode ended the population severely declined. This is also the birthplace of one of America’s greatest authors, Mark Twain. One of the haunted places in this town is its cemetery. The Virginia City Cemetery is known for having a gravestone that emits a strange light, but when people try to find it the light disappears. It is also said that a man’s gravestone moves, although no one is supposed to be in there. The gravestone is rather large, and requires at least 3 people to move it back to its rightful spot. Also in Virginia City is Piper’s Opera House. It is listed on the National Register of Historic Places, and is considered one of the country’s most renowned performance venues. Within this famous theater is the ghost of a young woman, who is dressed in lavender and also smells of it and stands at the top balcony during concerts. She is said to be friendly and to enjoy children’s performances, clapping and dancing along with the music. There is another spirit who is not so nice; one of an old man who sits smoking in the side balcony, scowling at the show.
Goldfield Hotel
No list of haunted places in Nevada would be complete without the addition of the Goldfield Hotel. The old hotel is far from the bright lights of Las Vegas, and is located in Goldfield, NV. 186 miles north of Vegas, Goldfield was once Nevada’s largest city, and was at one time the home of Wyatt Earp. Now it is closer to being a ghost town than what it was in its heyday. The Goldfield Hotel is considered the most haunted hotel in Nevada. When it was built, the hotel was known as “The Gem of the Desert”, but it has a tragic story. The ghosts most known to be in there are George Wingfield and Elizabeth, a young prostitute. Wingfield was a wealthy businessman, and the most powerful man in Nevada in the early 1900’s. The story goes that Wingfield got Elizabeth pregnant, and when it started to show he chained her to a radiator in room 109. When the infant was born he killed Elizabeth, and then threw the baby down a dumbweighter to its death in the basement. In 2006, two Las Vegas filmmakers, Zak Bagans and Nick Groff of the Travel Channel show Ghost Adventures captured some of the most shocking paranormal evidence. They were in the basement filming and caught a brick being thrown at them by an unseen force from across the room.  This footage can be seen on the documentary Ghost Adventures: The Beginning.

The End of the Road
When visitors come to Las Vegas, NV, they usually come for gambling and entertainment. Tourists don’t expect to see Liberace, the infamous Bugsy Siegel or any other spirit wandering their hotel. The fact of the matter is, there are some souls that cannot be at rest. Whether they died of natural causes or under more tragic circumstances, those who come to Sin City may find themselves in their own ghost story.

Sidebar

Paranormal Jargon

Orbs – describes unexpected, typically circular objects in photographs. Sometimes the object leaves a trail, indicating motion. In terms of paranormal interpretation, orbs are said to be evidence of one of many things including invisible spirits, auras, angels, ghosts, energy fields, psychoenergetic artifacts, energy balls, etc.

EVP – Electronic Voice Phenomena. EVPs are electronically captured sounds that resemble speech, but are not the result of intentional voice recordings. They are usually believed to be paranormal in origin. Popularized by parapsychologist Konstantin Raudive who states that EVP are typically brief, usually only one word or a short phrase in length.

Residual haunting – This paranormal event can be compared to a “playback” of a past event. These apparitions cannot be considered spirits, they are essentially a “recording” of a normal everyday noises. Sounds such as doors opening or closing, tools being used in a place where there was construction are both considered residual haunting.

Intelligent haunting – An intelligent ghost, or intelligent spirit, is the term used to describe the spirit of a person who has passed on and is able to communicate with the living. Exactly why the spirit remains earthbound is a mystery, although there are theories that claim the person may have died with unfinished business to complete. Others believe the spirit is attached to someone or something on earth and chooses not to leave. In some instances, it appears the ghost is not aware he or she has died and is simply trying to live a normal life.

Infared camera – Infrared cameras, also known as thermographic cameras, take snapshots by capturing images from the infrared spectrum; in other words, infrared cameras take pictures of heat radiation rather than visible light radiation. Paranormal enthusiasts and professionals believe that infrared cameras can be used to see ghostly apparitions and other paranormal phenomena.

Ouija board – Not just a board game purchased at Toys R Us. The first historical mention of something resembling a Ouija board is found in China around 1100 B.C. Ouija boards are essentially a tool to use in communication with spirits. It is said that homemade Ouija boards are far more powerful than the store bought kind. Since homemade boards require energy, focus and creativity to construct the board, intelligent spirits seem to connect to it easier than the mass-produced kind.

Recommended ghostly reading
The Haunting of Las Vegas by Janice Oberding
The Orb Project by Klaus Heinemann
Both books are available on Amazon.com

You may try to cleverly disguise yourselves anyway you can with clothes and hairstyles, but a leopard doesn’t change its spots. We know you. And it’s not like we even really know what the dictionary definition is, we just know what you are. You’re a douchebag. You think that you’re so awesome with your over-priced clothes, stupidly styled hair, and pompous attitude. You’re an idiot, plain and simple. You seem to love Las Vegas, which is an unfortunate fact for the women here. Being one that is in a happy relationship, I don’t have to deal with trying to date and sift through the guys that are either d-bags or decent. But there’s a simple fact that you need to realize: Just because you live in Vegas, doesn’t mean that you need to try so fucking hard to live that “Vegas” lifestyle. You don’t need to name drop what managers of what clubs you know or what kind of car you drive and how fast it is. Unless the girl is as vapid and shallow as you, we just don’t give a shit. You make people grit their teeth in pure rage as soon as you open up your mouths and we want to punch you in the face.
And here’s the thing, we know where you hang out. Your mothership seems to move from place to place, and right now it’s Town Square. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do like Town Square. Rave is a great movie theater and there’s an Apple store, but can I ask why it’s your new Mecca? Maybe it’s because it’s on Las Vegas Blvd without actually being on the Strip, so you can play the “I’m a cool local” card. Maybe it’s because it’s one of the newer places that you can go that has clothing stores and hip, trendy bars. You can do beers at Yardhouse or $15 drinks while watching people get turned away at Blue Martini. Whatever it is, it gets old fast.
And there isn’t just one type of douchebag. There are many. You come in all shapes and sizes, much to the dismay of others.

The Seven Deadly Douchebags

-Velvet Rope Douchebag: You know these guys. If you decide to go out for a night on the town, they seem to be everywhere. These are the ones that love to hang out at the clubs. Mainly, the ones that all the hot celebrities hang out at. They are the ones that act like they know the entire staff when they only know one bouncer because that’s his roommates cousin twice removed that he met once while passing a joint back and forth. They offer to buy drinks to the girls who are always saying “I’m SOOO wasted right now!” because they think that it’s any easy way to get ass. They are trying to get as many dumb club girls to sleep with them as possible to make them seem like as hot as they think they are. Mainly, these guys can be seen wearing shiny shirts, leather pants, sometimes the dreaded velour sweatsuit (cringe) and sporting slicked back or spiked hair. The amount they spend on hair products is more than they probably spend on food.
Hangouts: PURE, Tao, LAX, Prive and Blue Martini.

-Manscaped Douchebag: This breed is one that just needs a good ass-kicking. These preppy guys are also trying to be “gangsta” at the same time. The problem is, button-down dress shirts and ties are not the required uniform when you are going to be beating down your ho’s later on that evening. These guys are perfectly groomed, and probably spend hours getting that way. Their goatees are trimmed to perfection and hand sculpted with the care of a surgeon. Let’s not forget that their eyebrows are plucked. Making sure you don’t have a uni-brow is one thing that is necessary, but plucking should be a something only women know. Of course the items to cap off their wardrobes is the diamond studs in their ears and other bling. Don’t wear more jewelry than us. It’s horrifying.
Hangouts: Mall kiosk selling blackberries and other cell phones, outside of Yardhouse smoking cigars.

-Over-Compensation Douchebag: When I first moved to Vegas, there was a guy in my apartment complex that was the epitome of this. These are the guys that drive lifted trucks. Here’s my thing: You’re already in a truck! You’re higher up than everyone else already! Why do you need to be up even higher? Not only is this thing lifted, it has several embellishments. Usually it’s a tribal flame grill across the front or some Skin Industries decals on the back window. When this guy pulls in, it’s imperative that he parks across 2 spaces because god forbid someone’s car door nick, dent or scratch his precious truck. Of course when this guy gets out, he’s 5’5” with spiky hair, wearing a wife beater and skater shoes. Yea, and here’s a hint, the fact that you drive that fucking truck already sends a crystal clear message that you have a small penis. Once you get out, it really hammers the point home.
Hangouts: Best Buy, Galleria Mall, Poker Rooms, every stop light that you are at once a day, at least.

-“Fashionable” Douchebag: Now, the word “fashionable” is in quotes for a reason. They think that they are hot shit in their outfits when in reality, they are a hot mess. They also drench themselves in Axe Body Spray, and only wear Ed Hardy or Affliction and deck out everything they have in those brands. I actually saw an Ed Hardy steering wheel cover in a Cube the other day when I was in a parking garage at, you guessed it, Town Square. OK, Ed Hardy is now designing school supplies for kids that are selling at Target. And for a while they were going to design a kids line with Jon Gosselin. Yea, that fucking piece of shit from Jon & Kate Plus 8. You really want to resemble that guy in any way, shape or form? Seriously?
Hangouts: Christian Audigier Nightclub at Treasure Island, Fashion Show Mall, The Forum Shops, Blue Martini and many other places in Town Square.

-Respect My Authority Douchebags: These are the guys who live to make your life hell. Well, maybe not your life, but your evening for sure. These are the guys who get a raging erection for the chance to tell people that they cannot get into clubs. They love deciding who is cool and who isn’t. These security/bouncers/doormen usually have a scowl or superior look on their faces to intimidate and let you know that they are really fucking serious. The normal dress code is black t-shirts that are 2 sizes too small because they need to show off their rippling muscles. They live for the chance for some drunk tourist to get a little too rowdy so they have the chance to throw them our on their ass and prove what a big man they are.
Hangouts: Every nightclub, Las Vegas Athletic Club or 24 Hour Fitness.

-Cut Myself Douchebag: Skinny black jeans. Black skater shoes. Black studded belt. Black t-shirt or black band t-shirt. Black nail polish. Black eyeliner. Did I mention that the primary color in this wardrobe is FUCKING BLACK? Let’s not forget the several piercing that help them remember the pain of the world and a haircut that usually partially covers their eyes. These douchebags, sometimes called “emo” try to look like they don’t care but they do. Their lives are filled with pain and suffering while they live in the suburbs of Green Valley and Summerlin. Their parents don’t understand them but pay for their $80 haircuts that are meant to hide their face from all the pain in the world. They always try to brood and be mysterious, like a vampire. But here’s the thing, the vampires that women find sexy don’t look a thing like that. And most of them barely know, if they know at all, who the FUCK Robert Smith is. THE ORIGINAL EMO! And he is 100 times cooler than they can ever hope to be!
Hangouts: Hipster non-conformist places like Hot Topic, the food court at the mall, Beauty Bar, and non-Starbucks coffee shops.

-Deliverance Douchebag: OK, so this is the crème de la crème of douchy-ness. You all know it by heart because these are the guys that the tabloids just eat up. Wife beater tank tops, cargo pants that start at their ass cracks, sideways baseball hats (sometimes with a doo rag on underneath), cheap jewelry, goatees (not to be mistaken with the type of goatee seen on Manscaped Douchebag) are the usual dead giveaways. When you are filling up your gas tank they are the ones that pull in with hip hop blasting in their beat up ’89 Honda Civic and they are mouthing along with the words. Mind you, these guys are some of the whitest guys you’ll see. They are wannabe rappers, but really just come off as pathetic guys who swear that they are going to be the next Eminem. Need a better reference? Kevin Federline and Kid Rock. Clear enough for you now?
Hangouts: Unfortunately, everywhere. These guys seem to permeate the entire Vegas scene.

Afraid You’re One Of Them?

Here are some tell tale signs if you’re a douchebag:
-Your wardrobe. If you wear any of the aforementioned clothes, you could be a douchebag. Please also note that Hollister, J. Crew and Abercrombie & Fitch fit into this category.
-Your attitude. If you think that your shit doesn’t stink, and you walk with a supposed swagger but it looks like you just have some kind of stick up your ass. You assume that every girl in the place just wants to sleep with you. You could very well be a douchebag.
-Your car. If you take more pride in your car than you would your first born, then you are a douchebag.
-Your pad. If it is decked out in black, has satin sheets, has more money invested in gaming systems than utensils and bath towels and has Christmas tree lights hung in it you are surely a douchebag.
-Your grooming. When you take care of your facial hair as if you are sculpting a bonsai tree, it’s getting a little our of hand. You are indeed a douchebag.
-Your use of language. Everyone is not your bro or bra. Stop saying it. Please. Douchebag.

Dial Down Your Douche

Ok guys, so you’ve read this and realized, Oh no! I’m a douchebag! Well, that’s the first step. It’s like recovering from an addiction. An addiction to crap. There are things that you can do to dial down your douche.
-Get rid of your wardrobe. Start fresh. Taking an important person in your life with you to go shopping (preferably not someone in your click of friends that approved of your previous douchey-ness). Make sure they are someone that will be honest with you. Brutally honest. Mainly take someone who will smack you upside the head if you start to even look at an Affliction t-shirt.
-Lose the attitude. You are not as cool as you think you are. Yes, you live in Vegas and that is pretty freaking awesome, but please stop acting like you are god’s gift. Unless you find the cure for cancer or AIDS or something, just chill the fuck out. And if you are acting like you are in so much pain, just remember how things are in third world countries or Darfur. Then cry about how much pain YOU’RE in. I’m sure the refugees trying to escape a war-torn Iraq would LOVE to hear about it. Appreciate what you have. Be humble. Treat women with respect. Go ahead and talk about the accomplishments that you are proud of, but don’t let it get to the point where you are talking about your own greatness.
-Be able to carry on conversations. Read a book (the horror!), see a movie that doesn’t star Vin Diesel, listen to some music you wouldn’t normally listen to. Learn about different things so that if asked about them, you’re not bullshitting because women can actually smell bullshit from a mile away. Sometimes, we just choose to ignore it, sometimes we’ll give you a dirty look and walk away mumbling “idiot” under our breaths.

So gentlemen, please take heed of this warning. If you are a douchebag, you will not find a decent girlfriend. You will be laughed at behind your back, spoofed on web videos (see The Ed Hardy Boys on funnyordie.com), and be dismissed due to your doucheyness. Being a douchebag is a joke. Take the hint gentlemen. Maybe next time I can have a little less to write about.

The standout tracks to me are: Here Comes Everyone, Runaway Train, Courage and Control and All Ears Avow! I reality, I love every song on the record, some more than others of course, but I can really say that this record has come as a pleasent surprise to me. I thought that the last couple of Incubus records were ok. Not bad, but nothing really standout. Boyd’s solo album though, is a standout. His attempt at making “music for music’s sake” while Incubus is on hiatus proves to be a great acoustic record that, to me at least, can rock just as hard as some of the early Incubus tracks.

I can honestly say that I would highly recommend this album to Incubus fans. While it stands on its own, there are Incubus elements to the sound. Boyd’s vocals are soaring, his songwriting is beautiful, and grabbing the creative reins on this not only extended to the songs. He also co-directed the video for the first single, “Runaway Train” and did all of the artwork for the album itself. As an artist, I can really appreciate when someone takes many different creative outlets to express a single idea. Why limit yourself to just one?

#10 V For Vendetta

In a world that has pretty much gone to shit due to the shady dealings and crappy, fear-mongering government (sound familiar?), this graphic novel stands the test of time. It resonates in recent times although it was first published in 1982. It was made into a movie that alot of people didn’t really like, but I have to say that I did. It was relevant, poignant and reminded people that people should not be afraid of their government, but the government should be afraid of the people. And of course, the fact that it was written by the great Alan Moore doesn’t hurt either.

#9 Fell: Feral City

In a dark world, a lone detective is sent to the frightening Snowtown, where the cops barely try, packs of wild dogs kill at random, and no one is safe. Drawn by one of my favorite artists Ben Templesmith (30 Days of Night), and written by Warren Ellis (Transmetropolitan), Detective Fell is going to start over by holding onto the one thing he knows: that everyone is hiding something. We’re not sure why he was shipped over to Snowtown, but he knows that “no one is nothing” and is going to try to take back the city, one person at a time.

#8 Y: The Last Man Vol. 1 Deluxe Edition

Being the last man on earth surrounded by nothing but women is every straight man’s fantasy. It would be awesome right? HARDLY. The thing that men don’t realize is that women are dangerous, calculating and cruel, much more so than men. And Yorick Brown (such a great name!) finds this out first hand when for some reason he is the last man left on earth.

#7 Sin City: That Yellow Bastard

I love, love, love the Sin City series. Frank Miller’s noir style of art, with the use of usually one primary color to draw specific attention and over the top language is one that is both fun and frightening. This is my favorite book of the series, mainly because it centers around my faovrite character, Nancy Callahan. To me, she is the one solid, good character that runs throughout the books. In this one we get to know the stripper with the heart of gold and the man that saved her life as a child, Hartigan. These two I believe are the two incorruptable characters of the book, who really are trying to be good and do the best they can in the face of one of the most vile villians in the series.

#6 Fables: Wolves

This is easily one of the most original, smart, and well written books out there. Seeing the characters that we grew up with as kids (Snow White, Cinderella, Prince Charming) in a realistic and heartbreaking way is something so different and refreshing you can’t help but love it. That is, if you are not drawn in by former cover artist James Jean’s beautiful work. Why this one? It is the 8th graphic novel in the series and features two characters that you have been dying to get together finally being together. (Hey, I am a girl after all, and I do love that shit.)

#5 The Walking Dead

I’ve only just gotten into this series (and yes that is a travesty), but right from the get go, I was hooked. Sure the beginning is a litte 28 Days Later (which in my opinion was not the greatest freaking movie ever like some people think. It was a good zombie movie, a really good one, but I wasn’t like “Holy crap this is fucking amazeballs!”), as in guy wakes up from coma to a world ful of zombies, but they both in production at the same time. Other than that, this series has already blown me away. Not to mention the fact that this series is done in black and white. Such a refreshing change.

#4 Kabuki: Skin Deep

One of my favorite series of all time, this comic changed the way I thought about comics all together. Mack’s use of collage, watercolor, poetry, philosophy, ink, pencil, and so many other mediums I would spend 3 days listing them weave together the story of a girl who defies normal comic book conventions (she is small breasted and has a horribly scarred face), and goes from being a government assassin to finding her true self through therapy in a mental institution while her former comrades search for her to kill her.

#3 Blankets

One of the most critically acclaimed graphic novels in recent time (it even made the TIME top 10 graphic novels ever), Blankets is a rare beauty. I read it in one night, and it stayed with me. I find myself occasionally flashing back to it in my mind, remembering the beautiful art and storytelling. It expresses and makes us remember what it was like to grow up, be a teenager, figure out where we belong, and what it’s like the first time we fall in love. No violence or superheroes or anything, just a real story that hangs onto you and doesn’t let go.

#2 The Dark Knight Returns

What can I say about this graphic novel that hasn’t already been said? Batman reimagined by the genius that is Frank Miller. If you are a tried and true comic book fan and you have not read this, you are an uncultured fuck. BAM. There I said it.

#1 Watchmen

Was there really any doubt? Brilliant, poignant, rich, detailed, beautiful, heartbreaking with some of the most complex and interesting characters ever created. If you want to read this, be prepared-it is VERY dialogue heavy. This is not something that can be read in an afternoon. This is not your daddy’s Spiderman. This is something different and is truely a gift to comic book lovers everywhere.